Marchweeke Farm,

Each month we provide an update on the activities and events that have taken place at Marchweeke Farm as we develop our own beef, lamb, pork and poultry enterprises.

Lambing is in full flow and Simon is suffering from severe sleep depravation so it falls upon me (Julie) to keep you informed of the latest news. The debris cluttering the desk has a distinctly sheep bias this month! There is the tube and syringe that is used for force feeding colostrum to lambs that are too cold and weak to suck. Tacked on to the pin board is a sheet for recording the number of twins and singles that have been born which currently runs at 62 twins and 28 singles. There is also an empty blue spray can, I assume that this is for numbering the lambs rather than for graffiti practice! I know it’s all part of their management but the ewes look as if they are auditioning for Joseph and his technicoloured fleece! They have a blue spot on the back that indicates how many lambs they are having; there is another coloured mark on their rump that shows which week they will lamb. Once they lamb they are sprayed with a number to correspond with their lambs and all of them carry the black “MF” pitch mark on the shoulder so that we can identify our sheep should they escape and mix with a neighbour’s flock. Oh, I nearly forgot the purple mark on the head that they get if they have been treated for foot rot. The wool marketing board won’t have to dye the wool it’s already been done!

With the increase in the size of the flock the maternity ward has also been extended. There are now 32 individual pens that the ewes stay in for 24 hours after giving birth. After work I have been assisting with ward cleaning duties. Each pen has to be cleaned out before the next new mother arrives. This involves the glamorous job of forking soiled straw bedding into a wheel barrow; brushing clean and then spreading dehydrated lime on the floor. This is to prevent the build up of E.coli which causes “watery mouth”, a digestive disease that causes scour and death of the newborn lambs. Maybe the NHS should try a bit of lime on the bedding occasionally! It was while I was cleaning the pens that I noticed one sheep without any lambs. “What’s wrong with this one” I enquired, “why doesn’t she have any lambs?” There was a short pause and then Simon shouts back “massive lumps in her udder, take a look”. I peered down and found swinging between her hind legs was a large pair of testicles! One of the ram lambs had just returned from having a vasectomy at the vets! The poor chap ( Jaffa) had been given a sedative during the operation and now found himself the only male in a maternity ward full of baaing ewes and bleating lambs. It’s a shame the vet didn’t have a “buy one, get one free offer” because I would have booked Simon in! With so little sleep he’s somewhat comatosed so I’m not sure he would have noticed anyway!

With having both Simon and Richard frequently in and out of the kitchen; preparing milk bottles and washing hands after assisted births it is impossible to keep the place clear of straw but I draw the line when I find prolapse restrainers soaking in the utility room basin! These are best described as plastic T pieces that are tied on to the rump of any sheep that are suffering from a vaginal prolapse! There is a limit and that was it! Having Richard to assist with lambing this year has been a huge bonus, Richard does the 9.00 p.m. until 1.00 a.m. slot and Simon takes over at 3.00 a.m. Getting Simon to find time to complete household repairs is always a challenge but with lambing underway it has been near to impossible. As a consequence I have become pretty adept at managing repairs myself but I was stumped by the toilet cistern in the bathroom. Despite vigorous pumping on the handle the flush resolutely refused to function and with family coming to stay I gave him the final ultimatum “No flush: no dinner”. Ed and family arrived just as Simon re-attached the cistern to the wall. During dinner I enquired as to why my kitchen scissors had been required for the repair. Apparently he had cut up an old plastic feed bag to replace the broken diaphragm! Some time in the future a plumber will dismantle the toilet and wonder why he has a piece of plastic with “chicken feed” printed on it!

Have a good month. Simon, Julie and Rebecca